Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter:

First woman : My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for a paper boy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.

Second woman : I know

First one : How?

Second one : My dog told me

Once upon a time there was a nice young man called Karim. He used to sell
caps for a living, and roam around several villages. One day he would be in
Mughalsarai, the other day people would find him in Faizabad.

It was an afternoon in summer and he was traversing the vast plains when he
felt tired and wanted to have a nap. He found a nice mango tree with lots of
branches and cool shade, placed his bag of caps beside him and went to
sleep. Tired as he was, he was quickly fast asleep. When he woke up after a
refreshing little nap, he found that there weren't any caps in his bag!

'Oh, Allah!', he said to himself, 'Did the thieves have to find me of all
people?' But then he noticed that the mango tree was full of cute monkeys
wearing colourful caps!

He yelled at the monkeys and they screamed back. He made faces at them and
found the monkeys to be experts at that. He threw a stone at them and they
showered him with raw mangoes.

'Ya Allah, how do I get my caps back,' he said.

Frustrated, he took off his own cap and slammed it on the ground. And Lo,
the stupid monkeys threw their caps too! Smart Karim didn't waste a second,
collected the caps and was on his way.

50 YEARS LATER....

Young Abdul, grandson of famous topiwala Karim who was also working hard at
making $$$ doing his family business, was going through the same jungle.

After a long walk he was very tired and found a nice mango tree with lots of
branches and cool shade. Abdul decided to rest a while and very soon was
fast asleep. A few hours later, when Abdul woke up, he realised that all the
caps from his bag were gone! Abdul started searching for the same and to his
surprise found some monkeys sitting on mango tree wearing his caps.

Abdul was frustrated and didn't know what to do. And then he remembered a
story his grandfathers proudly used to let him.

'Yes!!!! I can fool these monkeys!!!', said Abdul. 'I'll make them imitate
me and very soon I'll get all my caps back!'

Abdul waved at the monkeys -- the Monkeys waved at Abdul
Abdul blew his nose -- the Monkeys blew their noses
Abdul started dancing -- the Monkeys were also dancing
Abdul pulled his ears -- the Monkeys pulled their ears
Abdul raised his hands -- the Monkeys raised their hands
Abdul threw his cap on the ground ............ .... one of the monkeys
jumped down from the tree, walked upto Abdul; slapped him and said

 'Do you think ONLY YOU HAD A GRANDFATHER?????'

Where can a dog go if his tail is cut?

To a re-tail shop…

 INTELLIGENT MONKEY

 Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was travelling in the
 plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was
 intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.

 The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with =
 the monkey.

 Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
 Monkey : "Tying their belts"
 Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
 Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
 Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
 Monkey: "Checking the system"
 Officer: "What were you doing?"
 Monkey: "Looking for my people"

 Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
 Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
 Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
 Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
 Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
 Monkey: "Handling the steering"
 Officer: "What were you doing?"
 Monkey: "Eating & throwing"

 Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers   doing?"
 Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
 Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
 Monkey: "Make up"
 Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
 Monkey: "Handling"
 Officer: "What were you doing?"
 Monkey: " Nothing"

 Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
 Monkey: "All were sleeping"
 Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
 Monkey: "Kissing the pilots"
 Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
 Monkey: "Responding"
 Officer: "What were you doing?"
 Monkey: "Handling the steering